transition.

... and the new project begins ...
as of course the old continues.

[stay tuned]

plane rides home, and stuff.

the best part about flying home....

Surely had to be meeting the Norwegian friends that sat next to me. We even had a fun experience trying to get through customs at Chicago. At least we didn't have to do it alone. That's another side tangent.. returning to a culture of fear, and still realizing this is where I call home. And, I almost didn't even make it home.

...but working on my research was a close second.  

So, on the plane ride back I read over a primary artifact I will be using to fulfill the requirements of this internship, but hopefully to expand into an actual lifelong work. Time will tell. Anyway, I asked for a xerox copy of a chapter from the tenth grade English textbook and specifically for the chapter that focused on America. I thought it would make it easier for me to identify the stereotypes, exaggerations, etc. as a native to the country.  Now before I go into highlights, I should also add that I have a German language textbook for English speakers of a similar age (but not necessarily level) that I do foresee using as a way to contrast. However, I do want to make sure my paper does focus on my experience in Berlin, before I do too much cross-cultural analyses.

let me give you a few highlights...
1. Apparently, Americans tend to have an indisputable love and respect for the Statue of Liberty. It is never the sign of tension like other symbols can be such as flag burning, etc.  But, it's not just that we "don't" disrespect the statue of liberty, it's almost like we cherish it - and by cherish I mean a much stronger word... like.. adorn.. or something that just isn't coming to me. I was just surprised by how highlighted lady liberty really was made out to be when I really feel like I don't even have her on my frontal lobe of what it means to be American. Maybe I'm a broken American.

2. One of the listening exercises was Bush's inaugural address from 2001. Now, that's kind of  a sophisticated exercise in language by itself, but it gets better. After students did the standard instructional practices of like writing the main points and answering brief contextual questions in full sentences, the fun part comes. Get this : they compare his talking points to his track record and reflect on the similarities/differences.  
--->>in case you have been zoning out please pay attention now..
Here we have kids halfway across the world doing something for school that's more thorough of an exercise radicals here use to support their views. And that's the radicals - let's not go into the apathetic moderates and their lack of any political knowledge. I mean, don't get me wrong.. I'm far from innocent on turning my head the other way instead of severely critiquing a politicians credibility. Nonehteless, I like to think I make up for it but critiquing institutional credibility.
also, i'm a punk kid. i try to be young.

3. There was a list of phrases to help communicate with English speakers - who are, apparently, universally passive aggressive.  Okay, I see where people get that - and a lot of that has to do with how our grammar rules are set up and what "correct" language looks like. But still, REALLY?! I mean, here we are in the states telling kids that German speakers are direct and then they are being taught we are passive aggressive. So, here's what happens. German kids try to approach English speakers passive aggressively while English kids try to be direct and then they are both like in this spiral of misunderstandings about the other. Okay, I get this is an oversimplification.. but... I feel like in the twenty-first century we might have come farther than relying on textbooks to educate eachother, about each other. Like, we are talking about a world that internet can be accessed from the most dangerous climates. And, we are literally relying on some overgeneralized fucking textbook to learn how to speak and interact with eachother?! Seriously, like these things aren't just reference books for grammar...?

I think I need to calm down a bit.

I still have much more to write about Berlin. I feel like being back in the states feels more like a trip than being in Berlin did.  It's a weird complex.

nevertheless, as each day passes
I am becoming more comfortable with being happy. 
No matter what anyone else thinks.

(love ending on cheesy versions of cliches. <3 b="">

Soltau

die heidepark.

Growing up 25 minutes from Valleyfair and 10 minutes from the Mall of America made me kind of forget that going to an amusement park isn’t always a spontaneous weekend adventure. But to Berlin kids, they dream about going to the Heidepark – which ended up being about a five hour bus ride each way after taking into account a forty minute break.

So I had to be at the station at 6:15 – meaning that I had to leave my place at about 5:20 to get there on time. If you think that I can just sleep on the bus – you are just as mistaken as I was. Falling asleep on a double-decker bus full of high school students was not as easy as I anticipated. I mean, you would think they would themselves be tired for having to wake so god-forsaken early, but it turns out that the anticipation in having the opportunity to go so far outside Berlin to the Heidepark.

The bus ride didn’t go as slow as I anticipated, and interestingly enough I didn’t mind the fact I couldn’t fall asleep. The student next to me didn’t speak English very well, and at first he was pretty shy at trying to hold a conversation with me. But I started asking him for words in German, which ultimately lead to him writing the German and English words.  

(wait).... what?

you mean to tell me, that all of those dictations we spend so much time complaining about in school... can actually spontaneously pop up in real life?! No. Not possible.

FALSE.

Look, I'm not saying that this is proof that current instruction modes are the best, but I am saying let's not be so quick to dismiss the value of the seemingly torturous monotony of basic dictation that is so common in traditional classrooms. 

I think I've spent a lot of time dismissing traditions as only manufacturing models that don't resemble the world, before I even really stopped and looked at any potential. There's going to be a different post dedicated to this... actually, that's what my whole research project is becoming... 

so let me get back on track (ha, rollercoasters)

 It was a day full of walking, rides, and extreme exhaustion. If you think this led to a nap on the ride home.. you could not be more wrong. If it was impossible for me to sleep on the way to - it was equally against the laws of nature to even think about getting a drop of shut eye. Not that I would have wanted to miss what happened next...

the bus driver was the dj, and the students were the people. 

Maybe it was an hour in, or maybe two- but as soon as the beats got turned up... there was no return. The bus erupted in dancing, singing, and a cloud of happiness that was impossible to escape from. Yes, this bus was fall of kids who may not have graduated with the strongest guarantee of successful futures/educational opportunity - but this sort of trivial fact could do nothing to the soul of these kids.

In fact, I couldn't help but submerse myself in their dancing and singing. Because in that moment, it didn't seem so important that we couldn't communicate in the same language or hold the same value for education. These kids wanted to have fun, socialize, and enjoy their lives with one another. I'm not sure where the critical period is that seems to go askew... but I sure had a hell of a time learning how to sit back and enjoy the present moment with others.

I kind of started to get that cliche about happiness being the simple things.

(sneak peak)

 I haven't written in a few days.

But in the past few days a few things have become incredibly obvious to me:

1. Strength can come through the pursuit of curiousity.

2. Having fun is not the entrance fee, the ticket, or even where you are.

3. Kids, even across the world, are still kids. [encourage them to play!]

4. There are many things to learn from kids of all ages (1 day - 110 years) if we shut up and listen from time to time.

5. Being in a rush sucks.
 

 
[to be continued] 

Sachsenhausen.

It was designed; it was created.

The name itself doesn't translate to anything more than, "The house of Saxony"
But the history cuts deep.

We took a class field trip, and I personally couldn't bring myself to taking any pictures. There are some experiences, that are better as memories. But, to make some of my reflections more visual - I did some google searching, so none of the following pictures come from me or the day I visited.

The front gates of every concentration camp operated under the NSDAP were standardized to look as shown below:

The entrance to the concentration camp is powerful, it's not an ordinary gate. You know what's almost creepy is how it could be mistaken for a schoolhouse. It has the basic architecture, with a clock tower on top. I mean, I definitely wouldn't guess "entrance to a concentration camp" by seeing this picture. The translation of "Arbeit macht frei" is roughly, work makes you free.

...work makes you free...

Although the scale of horror that took place at Sachsenhausen may be less than that of Auschwitz, there is nothing pretty about this place. Although basically all of the barracks where prisoners were lived ended up being burned down by the Nazis, but certain areas still stand. The first building I entered had renovated the first floor to an information site, but the basement cellar was kept the same. Here there was the kitchens and leftover bits of the famous ovens and gas chambers.  The smell of must entered through my nasal tracts as I began to let my mind wander and recreate this space as it was in 1938-45. Of course, there is no way I can begin to fully comprehend the Holocaust - but being so near to actual artificats that were part of the murders of tens of thousands of people definitely brings you closer.

It's amazing how much time you can spend just in the yard looking around at essentially grass and abandoned buildings. The irony was that it happened to be an absolutely gorgeous day. However, my working memory of the holocaust up to this point is mostly in cinematic productions that generally take place in winter or gray-skied times. But, these people were also imprisoned during summer when the sky is blue as a dream and the grass is as bright of a green as you could imagine. I wonder if colors looked the same in those times.

I kind of got lost in these thoughts, especially as we went to set down our flowers at the foot of the memorial statue within the concentration camp. 

My most vivid memory is of the last building I entered, which was even more of a museum on the top floor, filled with artifacts and a small theater that showed a 30 minute quick historical overview. It's hard to explain how much there was to read and look at.
In left side of the picture above, it is a real "sledge" which literally was used to carry bodies. This is not a replica, this is a left over artifact. In each of these cases are different things, clothes, letters, tools, everything you can imagine.  To be honest, I got a little bit choked up at a display case that had a little hand made chess set. Of course the pieces were scraps of trash taped together in order to be distinguishable, but it had the most personality of any chess set I'd seen ever. It is the one thing I regret not photographing. But, I know I'll never forget it.  Even in the worst of times people found ways to use what they've learned or been happy from in the past to make sense of the present. Maybe you could just call it a distraction, but I call it maintaining a certain standard of humanity.

I don't want to go on too long about this, because the Holocaust is so popularized in history books and the media, that it almost has numbed an entire population. I guess by being at an actual concentration camp I do begin to sympathize with authors like Adorno and Sontag and others who criticized the art productions of the Holocaust. I still think people need to be able to visualize it somehow, but we must not let ourselves be numb.


The whole experience was like walking through a park, but then realizing it's a cemetery...

Classroom things.

so a few days have passed now. 

I want to return to a previous issue: reading scores out loud to classes.

Since I have last written, I have closed my jaw - and reflected more to take in the classroom dynamic in a deeper way.  Turns out,  it isn't that uncommon of a practice among multiple teachers. Okay, and, the students aren't as affected by it. Here are some main differences as why it works different in this school as opposed to schools in the US:

• Students have been together for four years, in the same group (more or less)
• Students own their classroom and teachers visit to teach.
• So, with this comes this interesting dynamic that the students feel socially comfortable in a classroom, it isn't designed by the teacher. And maybe in this way, it isn't focused on the teachers demands of grades or what have you.
• [highlight] seeing different classrooms means seeing different ways students express themselves! There are often pieces of arts, collages, and various individual expressions that aren't always hung up assignments - rather voluntarily made decorations.
• Students are also responsible for cleaning the floors, blackboards, and picking up the trash/sorting it into special bins.
• Oh, yeah in Europe they actually separate their garbage and recycle it. It's brilliant. Except for on the streets, they don't have separated recycling/food waste bin.
•  Grades don't seem to be an emotional experience. 
• Students are used to bringing every grade report home and having their parents sign it, sometimes even homework assignments. 
• There isn't a competitive environment between the students for the highest mark.
• Instead, students celebrate each other when they pass.
• Sure, this may seem like they are setting a "low bar" but really, I do think it's kind of nice that students can be more united by grades than rewarded. Imagine if these students worked together to not only pass, but excel. Unfortunately, school doesn't seem to be too relevant to their lives.

Okay, so there's a lot present here in observations. I know it's all over the place. And,  I still need to talk about the daily schedule. I'll have to post that separately. It's fascinating though.

Also, I was reading through an English textbook and found the section on America.  I think I will try to Xerox the pages and articles because there's just too many observations on how Americans and American culture are represented to possibly list here thoroughly.

The main takeaway points  from this chapter are:

-The Statue of Liberty is a unifying monument to America, which is rarely contested or degraded. In contradiction to the flag, which can often be burned or dragged in the mud as a symbol of protest/disregard for the government.
 
-There is a lot of differences in opinions toward the US - mainly political. However, there is a general positive acceptance of American influence on technology, food, and entertainment. Literally, there were published sections of articles from Reuters and The Guardian discussing opinion polls, policy, etc. I think it's kind of interesting that students are taught to situate American politics separately from American influence. That's a fairly sophisticated distinction, and an important one.

-Assimilation is an important concept in American culture. Generally, we think it's really important to consider assimilation a positive thing, and we need to make it our objective. There were multiple perspectives on this, but again a pretty sophisticated discussion for English learners. Maybe a bit paradoxical, as they learn English as a result of the global marketplace demanding it as "the language of power." Not sure if that is inherent in the definition of globalization that we have to assimilate to some uniform type of expression, but that seems to be how it's popularized (especially in the States).  But, it's also more efficient this way, which is really important in capitalist economics... so... [anyway]

listening activities:
- American songs: "God Bless America," and "The Star-Spangled Banner"
-Bush's inaugural address: And then the follow up was to list his points made in his speech and than make comparisons to his policies. What a challenging and profound exercise for ESL classrooms... Maybe even more rigorous that some American exercises.... But, not relevant to compare the two in this post.

i'm going to try and get a copy of this section... the more I reflect the more interested I become in doing a deeper analysis of how German students learn about America through standardized materials...
[end]

Another repeated theme, education is deeply contextual.

"& what was your grade?"

Incredible. Jaw-dropping.

Was my reaction to scores of students being read to the class. Add to this list: uncomfortable. I mean, I guess it's okay if the students are used to it, but how invasive of privacy - or at least my sense of it. But, it's not just that the students were receiving their scores on the English exam in front of the other students, but something else more serious happened. Maybe serious isn't the best word... bear with me anyway...

and after the scores were read...
the teacher engaged in a dialogue with the students about how they felt about the test...
For example, the teacher would ask "was it easy or hard" and popcorn across the room. Keep in mind, her teaching style is a bit more traditional and what you might imagine a strict German to display as an authoritative like presence.  The unfortunate thing was that the students did not seem to respond respectfully to commands, and it might be because the students do not have the most consistent sense of discipline at home, or they just don't relate to adults. Who knows. Anyway, if a student responded "the reading part was easy," the teacher looked at the score of the student to verify if they were accurate. I mean, I guess it's a brute honesty in a way, I just know that my insecurity would be terrified of this sort of revealing. There is a usefulness in identifying the best students in the class, but I don't know how it affects the psychology of the other students. Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is that context matters, moreover - history between the teacher and students matters.

the other class I was in... 
was considered the "lowest class in the school" and often they carry the attitude as if it doesn't matter that they learn because everyone has decided that they can't. This isn't the first time a story like this has been told, but the teacher of this class responded, "I like them, in a way, you know, you get close to them." It wasn't because he feels bad for them, but he just likes the way they express themselves - because they are quite direct. It is sad that these students don't see they use in going to school, but it's a blessing that when they do go they have teachers who take care of them in a different way. Maybe the education is boring to them, but the human contact makes it worthwhile.

I try to resist a lot deciding that certain ways of teaching are correct and others are wrong. I just don't think this sort of decisions gets us anywhere in a system full of different fields, levels, cultures, etc. However, there seems to be something special in finding a way to construct relationships that are multi-directional : i.e. student->teacher, teacher->student, student->student, etc.. The world is complex, so how can the classroom be honestly reduced to just a mechanism for the delivery of knowledge from "authority figure" (teacher) to "masses" (students)?!? This is not how the world works! It's much more dynamic! Berlin classrooms seem to understand this more or less, because it's not just lecture style and there has been plenty of constructivist activities. For example, constructing a understanding of my identity through interviewing me, working together in groups, participating, etc.

So I guess, can't help but show my bias that a classroom is nicer when it's a bit louder. I think my favorite part about classrooms here is that they are very social places, or maybe that's more unique to my school. Students may be chatty, overly so sometimes, but they are building a community and are not afraid to speak up. I think instead of disciplining students to shut up, we ought to be teaching them to speak up.

Imagine what the world could look like, if we built communities and spoke up.
These sorts of dreams begin in classrooms.